When I browsed through some of the old stuffs in my computer hard disk with the intention to clear some space for new addition, I came across Wynne's article written many years back. My daughter was still a teenager and went through the usual BGR issue in her life. I was kind of surprised that Wynne could write something with much thoughts and probably her own emotional feelings about this subject. I just share this with you all and prayerfully it may help some young people, and surely it can help some parents too.
Happy Reading!
Wynne's Star Newspaper’s NIE (Newspaper In Education)
Article on BGR
BGR – What is its? What the Big Deal?
BGR – What is its? What the Big Deal?
BGR…… It’s an acronym for Boy Girl Relationship. To make
things simple, BGR is the interaction between the opposite sex, mainly in the
adolescence stage.
Since the existence of man, there has been an attraction between the opposite sex.
In the past, the Chinese had their ways of dealing with marriage. It was more of a must than a want, especially in families of high social status. Bride and groom usually did not meet until the wedding day itself. Sad to say, the poor bride, with no courage to muster up a “no” on her big day, will usually elope with her chosen groom.
Westerners may have a good laugh, but wait just yet! Things aren’t any better in the West. Who could forget Romeo and Juliet by the famous William Shakespeare? Romeo and Juliet’s family were archenemies, leaving their secret affair forbidden and unspoken. We follow the two as they fought silently for their right to find true love. Like every tragic drama, death comes knocking at their doorstep and we find our lovers kicking the bucket side by side in the end of this beautiful classic. The devastating ending was so mind blowing, even today, people are still studying or writing songs about them. “Love Story” by award-winning Taylor Swift is one of the many examples. BGR was more constricted to the will of parents and family arrangements. This usually results in tragedies rather than happy-ever-afters.
But lucky for us, we do not live in the past anymore. Things are very different right now, with feminism finally kicking in! BGR is not only the most popular theme pop songs are based on, it also dances among teenagers all around the world.
Since the existence of man, there has been an attraction between the opposite sex.
In the past, the Chinese had their ways of dealing with marriage. It was more of a must than a want, especially in families of high social status. Bride and groom usually did not meet until the wedding day itself. Sad to say, the poor bride, with no courage to muster up a “no” on her big day, will usually elope with her chosen groom.
Westerners may have a good laugh, but wait just yet! Things aren’t any better in the West. Who could forget Romeo and Juliet by the famous William Shakespeare? Romeo and Juliet’s family were archenemies, leaving their secret affair forbidden and unspoken. We follow the two as they fought silently for their right to find true love. Like every tragic drama, death comes knocking at their doorstep and we find our lovers kicking the bucket side by side in the end of this beautiful classic. The devastating ending was so mind blowing, even today, people are still studying or writing songs about them. “Love Story” by award-winning Taylor Swift is one of the many examples. BGR was more constricted to the will of parents and family arrangements. This usually results in tragedies rather than happy-ever-afters.
But lucky for us, we do not live in the past anymore. Things are very different right now, with feminism finally kicking in! BGR is not only the most popular theme pop songs are based on, it also dances among teenagers all around the world.
BGR for Teenagers
Teens who are involved in BGR generally range from 15 to 25 years of age. Of
course, with movies and songs promoting BGR everyday, even little 10 year olds
are boasting about their 'other-halves' to their friends.How do teenagers of today define BGR? Interviewing students from different cliques in school, the answers we get are almost similar. Apparently, according to teens, BGR includes the following: reminding each other constantly how much they adore each other, having a special someone to give hugs, hold hands with or talk to 24/7, having somebody to run to when things get tough. Some girls have also pointed out that they enjoy the thrill of a guy showering them with little presents and surprises on Valentines’ Day or birthdays. Ahh... the innocence of grown ups-to-be.
So, why has BGR created controversies among educators and parents all over the world? Let’s take a look at BGR in the entertainment industry. Many of us have heard the recent case of Jamie Spears (the sister to the fallen pop princess, Britney Spears). Jamie Spears was reportedly pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. She is merely a teenager, no older than 20 years of age. She has also mentioned she is enjoying every second of being a mother. What does this imply? What other than teen motherhood stardom? She was criticized for being a terrible role model for little girls watching her family-friendly TV series, Zoey 101 at home. What happened to the innocent little Jamie we used to adore? The answer is simple. She started too early.
BGR is extremely common among teenagers. They engage in a special relationship
at a very early stage of life. Little do they realize that they may have
mistaken mere ‘infatuation’ with what they call L-O-V-E.
Now, do not take this the wrong way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love. However, the problem with relationships between youngsters is the lack of maturity and sense of responsibility. Without being equipped with both these qualities, there is no stopping foolish actions couples indulge in when involved in a relationship. Jamie Spears is a very obvious example of immaturity and irresponsibility of both male and female in a relationship, which leads to premarital sex and finally, premarital pregnancy.
Now, do not take this the wrong way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love. However, the problem with relationships between youngsters is the lack of maturity and sense of responsibility. Without being equipped with both these qualities, there is no stopping foolish actions couples indulge in when involved in a relationship. Jamie Spears is a very obvious example of immaturity and irresponsibility of both male and female in a relationship, which leads to premarital sex and finally, premarital pregnancy.
What Parents are Concerned?
The question posed most often by parents is: What should I do with my son or daughter involved in BGR?
These are some guidelines when dealing with your teenager’s BGR problems.
The question posed most often by parents is: What should I do with my son or daughter involved in BGR?
These are some guidelines when dealing with your teenager’s BGR problems.
NOT forbid the relationship
The first and most important thing parents should bear in mind is, DO NOT forbid the relationship. Why? Let’s just say Romeo and Juliet did not share a happy ending.
In that case, what should I do about my teenager? The key to all relationships, as mentioned before, is maturity and responsibility. You lose nothing in introducing these two qualities to your child, however young he or she is. Mature and responsible teenagers do not tend to anything immoral out of impulse or when facing temptation. You can count on them to be rational when doing anything, whether it is being involved in a relationship or not. It’s like striking two birds with a stone!
The first and most important thing parents should bear in mind is, DO NOT forbid the relationship. Why? Let’s just say Romeo and Juliet did not share a happy ending.
In that case, what should I do about my teenager? The key to all relationships, as mentioned before, is maturity and responsibility. You lose nothing in introducing these two qualities to your child, however young he or she is. Mature and responsible teenagers do not tend to anything immoral out of impulse or when facing temptation. You can count on them to be rational when doing anything, whether it is being involved in a relationship or not. It’s like striking two birds with a stone!
Remind your child that he or she has a supportive family
behind him or her
Secondly, the wisest thing to do is: Remind your child that he or she has a supportive family behind him or her. The last thing you want your children to resort to is getting sweet-talked into doing foolish things or eloping with their lovers. Therefore, a warm and loving family is what they need most. Remind them constantly that you would always be there for them when they encounter relationship problems. Just a little tip: It helps if you say it in a light, encouraging tone. Your teenager is no longer the little boy or girl who obeys every word you say. They need to be convinced that you truly care and want the best for them.
With all that said, you probably have a brief idea about BGR, more or less.
BGR can be a blessing or, if dealt with poorly, a beast that may ruin a very promising teenager. Blessing or beast? You play a part.
